Friday... Friday.. *Insert Rebecca Black song here*

It's Picture time again on Friday night...
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words....
You  know who needs more words?

Rebecca Black.

Ledgerific Life

Ode To Heath Ledger:
The 1990's began your career
From Australia you moved to here.
You starred in 10 Things I Hate About You
My eyes were stuck to you like glue.
I've never seen such a face
Or muscles that take up lots of space.
The armor you wore in "A Knight's Tale"
Made my heart pump fast and my face go pale.
You're the only villain to make Batman afraid
and DEFINITELY you could have beat up Blade.
You cannot imagine how much I cried
When I found out that you died.
All my childhood dreams and hopes
Were crushed the moment that you choked.
So i dedicated this ode in honor of your big day
I mean, 32 would have been pretty old
But you're just laying in a coffin, dead and cold.

Heath Ledger, you need to get a...................................................................................LIFE. hahaha get it?

He Looks Like Luigi

Every so often there comes a celebrity so beautiful the heavens sing songs of joy on the day he was born. So why in the world would he turn his back on his beauty and become something of a bum? Our dearest friend, James Franco, attracted my notice in Spiderman. While everyone was marveling over Spidey's webnastics, I was drooling over the Green Goblin's son. Not to mention the fact that this boy took over 25 units a semester at UCLA unti he graduated and is working on grad school.  But what is this mess? This conformist to Mustache March; this messy, unkempt human is nothing short of a failure of beauty.

   

James Franco, You need to get a.............................FREAKING MAKEOVER BACK TO REALITY!!!

Tyrant Talk Show Host

There are two kinds of tv personalities in the world: those who care about the people on their show, and those who obviously don't. An example of someone who cares about the people on their talk show would be.... well.. noone. Sorry, I've never seen a talk show where the host actually cared more about the people that were on the show than the money that those people brought into the show. One example of this would be Jerry Springer, and his lovely daytime television show, the Jerry Springer show. This man has exploited anything one could think of, including incest, pornography, affairs, and any other type of private happening. If he spent half as much effort building homes for the poor as he did exploiting these poor people to keep his ratings up, he would be one of the biggest philanthropists this world has ever seen. As it is, he refuses to do good and share; i guess its good, because nobody wants a slice of the pie he makes every week.


what the heck, jerry.
Jerry Springer, You need to get a.............LIFE, LOSER!!!!

Princess Person and Dopey Dog

To My Readers:

I am too tired to write a blog that includes alliterations, clever catch lines, and interesting pictures of before and after interesting celebrities.

Instead, I decided to simply post a picture of Paris Hilton.

'Nuff Said.

Bearded Beau Brings Up Bile

There is a large difference between celebrities, and celebrities with beards. 99% of celebrities with beards make me want to vomit. The slight 1%  that are capable of pulling off a beard either suck as actors or have some other physical or social deformity, ie George Clooney who is a universal outright playboy. Our lovely celebrity Joaquin Phoenix is no exception. I don't know what possessed him to grow a beard that outshines a national park forest, but it is not a look that benefits humanity. If he stayed outside for a week and lived in a box, I would not be able to differentiate from the transient that sits outside with an "I love weed" poster. Please, Joaquin: Give us back our Jack Morrison, our Commodus, our Johnny Cash! I love you, but I will not tolerate this.

Joaquin Phoenix, You  need to get a ......................................BIG RAZOR, BRO!

Ridiculous and Religious = Riotous Runt

Nowadays, everyone is trying the latest fad: whether it be religious, physical appearance, intelligence level, they're all pretty ridiculous; and at the top of this list lies the trend-setting Tom Cruise. Not only is he an astounding 5'4", he's married to Katie Holmes and is known as the face of Top Gun. However, he is also an outspoken Scientologist. I believe his most famous interview is the one with Oprah, in which he dances around the room and jumps on the couch claiming he's in love- he also claims there are aliens. This poor man. Not only does he act crazy, he leads everyone else to believe his religion is reserved for crazy people such as himself.

Tom Cruise, You need to get a................................DIFFERENT DIVINATION, DUDE!

Super Schnoz

If we thought our dear friend Val Kilmer was a stout superhero, then our exaggerations of the truth cannot be too far off. Steve Carrell is another example of a celebrity who needs help. He greatly destroys the humor of the hit show "The Office," because his huge nose gets in the way of all the humor. He would be a decent looking guy who deserves a girlfriend in the show, but I am so distracted by the length of his nose that it makes the show unrealistic whenever there is a love interest for him. He cannot play Maxwell Smart, because Maxwell ends up with Agent 86, who is super hot. And people with insanely largely noses just CANNOT end up with very good looking people.

Steve Carrell, the world's best boss, you need to get a ...........NOSE JOB, NOW!

From Batman to Bloated

In my personal opinion, the greatest Batman in the world was Val Kilmer. Born in Los Angeles, California, Kilmer was a mid 1980-90's heartthrob who played several lead roles from movies including Top Secret, Willow, Top Gun, the Saint, Tombstone, and his most famous movie, Batman Forever. Kilmer started out as a poster child for the typical action movie: washboard abs, facial stubble, the occasional happy trail, and a killer smile. However, in recent years, our superheroic saint has gone from sexy to saggy. He has gained a substantial amount of weight, making his audiences more of the geriatric nature than the early to middle age woman. To make matters worse, his selection of movies that he has acted in is less than enthralling, and I have to wonder how many criminal bank heist and low-budget goverment conspiracy movies one man can star in. This saddens me, because he used to be my favorite actor, and he really has turned into nothing more than a chubby has-been.

Val Kilmer, you need to get a..... PERSONAL TRAINER, PLEASE.